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How to Love Spending Time Alone

Updated: Feb 18, 2023

Learning to love spending time alone or learning to like yourself so much that you want to be alone is a process and a journey that requires embracing change, unlearning and stepping outside your comfort zone. All of which can help you move more into alignment with your truest and highest self.

I don’t have all the answers but I spend a lot of time alone and I always have, since I was a kid. And, as I’ve navigated my spiritual path, the time that I spend with myself has really shifted in quality because I practice all of the things I’m going to share with you.

Old growth maple tree in early autumn

So let’s deep dive into 5 tips that will help you to master the art of spending time alone:

1. Observe and witness without judgement

When you’re alone, practice observation without judgement. Witness what is happening around you and just observe it, rather than judging or analyzing it. Whether you’re people watching at a cafe, listening to someone talk, or looking at yourself in the mirror - whatever you’re doing - just witness and try not to judge.

Judging is really easy to do, but detoxing from the attachment of judgement is really uncomfortable - and there is so much growth in that space.

Believe it or not, the person you might be judging the most is yourself - so when you begin releasing this behaviour and addressing the reasons why you’re doing it, then overtime you’ll begin to enjoy being with yourself, exactly as you are, and find peace in that.

As well, observing and witnessing without judgement frees up so much mental space and that allows us to use our energy differently. So when we practice this when we’re alone with ourselves, we’re actually creating a new reality that is uniquely ours and not founded on unconscious learned behaviours.

2. Discover yourself

Explore your soul! What brings you joy? What are your passions? but also, what are your wounds? What are your triggers? Who are your friends? Do you feel safe to be your most authentic self with those friends?

Being human is a journey of discovery and you have to start somewhere if you don’t want to keep repeating the same old cycles. The person that you will never be separate from is yourself. So self-discovery is important if you want to grow and evolve. Self-exploration will lead to you valuing yourself and embracing your self-worth. This shift into abundant self-worth can feel strange and foreign because we live in societies that want to keep us from reaching the freedom and power that inherently comes with valuing ourselves.

I remember when I was looking for a community in my city that practiced witchcraft or, at the least, was on a similar path as me. I went to endless events, meetings, classes, healing sessions, sound journeys and tried so many new things. Along the way I discovered new and old things about myself, I made new friends and learned new skills. Some of the things I tried I didn't bring into my future and some of the friends I made also stayed in the past, but the experiences that I had help me unravel my most authentic self. Self-discovery is a life-long process, but, eventually, with commitment and dedication, we get to a point where we become grounded within ourselves and develop an understanding of our own soul blueprint and higher self.

3. Evaluate What Your Consuming

How are you spending your time when you’re alone? Are you intentionally reflecting and learning about your experiences? Are you journalling? are you keeping a healthy home and environment? Are you taking care of your vessel? Are you connecting with the earth?

Evaluate what you are consuming not just in the sense of food but also content and energy. If we’re consuming energy that is keeping us addicted and attached that keeps us vibrating at a low frequency and keeps us in a loop of descending rather than ascending. It’s okay to consume but when we are addicted to distracting ourselves from being present with ourselves then that can become disease, spiritual illness and power loss.

When we begin to heal our attachments to the things we are consuming, we begin shifting from an external journey to something internal. That means, for example, that when you’re alone, you’re doing things that bring you closer to your highest self and you are discovering your inner world.

As we grow and move closer to the truest parts of ourselves, the more we’ll enjoy and prefer being alone with ourselves with no external matrix like distractions.

If you decide to change the things that your consuming and how you are consuming them, but feel overwhelmed by that journey, then take it slow. Make one small change at a time and eventually you'll look back and realize how far you've come.

4. Rest

This is such a big one. There are few things more important than intentional rest. Our to-do lists, never end. Our responsibilities only grow. Our traumas and wounds begin to stack. So if we are constantly on auto-pilot going going going - then we’re going to burn out. Not only that, but if we don’t rest and integrate then our life’s experiences can become an after thought.

It’s okay to hustle, but it's imperative that we also create the time to rest. Intentionally resting and pushing aside everything else is one of the most magical keys to unlocking inner peace within yourself.

Resting can look different for everyone, it could be self-care or even being active or creative. It’s the intention behind the action that is making it restful for you. Intentionally resting, especially when your alone, allows us to recharge, integrate, ground, surrender to the present and let go. As well, intentionally resting will help you show up as your best self in the world so its actually an amazing way to be of service.

5. Be in Nature

When we’re in nature, we are totally and completely surrounded by Spirit in all its forms - animals, bugs, the elements - and these spirits are silently supporting us and guiding us. So we are actually never truly alone when we’re in nature which makes this the perfect tip for anyone who doesn't like to be alone or know how to be alone.

As well, spending time alone in nature is a great way to get to know the planet that we live on which helps to reveal a deeper understanding of who we are and what our purposes are here on earth.

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